Couples in Step Counselling

Resources

    Not Tonight Dear: Overcoming sexual roadblocks in marriage

    Imagine you’re with a group of friends—perhaps a group that has met together long enough to be quite comfortable with each other. The laughter is hearty, the talk amicable. In the midst of the chatter you hear someone from across the room say, “I guess sex just isn’t what it used to be.” You hear some chuckles of agreement, someone else offers a concurring comment, and then this conversational thread gets lost in the general chatter. Moments such as these, and my work as a couples counsellor, prompted me to read more, do research, and eventually present talks on the topic of marital sexuality.

    We live in a sexualized culture where, ironically, sex is also something set apart and private. We have permission to talk about different …

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    Links

    There are many links listed here and there throughout the Couples In Step web site. On the links page they are gathered together in helpful categories. You will find links for sites related to marriage and couples counseling, EMDR and trauma related sites, and links for some of my therapist colleagues.

    Visit our Links Page

Just an Ordinary Evening: Maintaining marital friendship

Have you ever wondered what, exactly, makes for a good marriage? John Gottman, a researcher and marital therapist from the University of Washington, has for many years been studying what he calls the “Masters and Disasters” of marriage. He describes three features that good marriages have in common. I’d like to describe …

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Taming the Tiger: Finishing fights well

Think back to the last fight you had with your spouse. Put aside the “what” you were fighting about and zero in on how you felt. Were you “flooded” with intense emotion? Did you feel physically overwhelmed? Were your muscles tense, your palms sweaty? Was your heart pounding, your face hot and flushed? Was it difficult …

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Infidelity: Can counseling help?

I get frequent calls from people wondering if I work with affairs. I do. Infidelity is a common presenting complaint for every couple therapist. Research suggests that 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extra marital affair. That’s a lot of affected …

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